Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of "I wish I was somebody else." More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us - when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti.
You think to yourself, "she looks so perfectly calm and confident." But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you'd see a bunch of obscures thoughts and you might just be amazed that she's believing "are people talking about why I am sitting here alone?... Why don't guys find me appealing? "I don't like my ankles, they look too skinny" "I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend."
We look at a young business enterpriser and say "Wooh what else could he ask for?" He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, "I hate my big eyes I wonder why my friends won't talk to me I hope mom and dad would still work things out."
Isn't it curious? We look at others, envy them for appearing so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they consider us and thinks of the comparable thing. We are insecure of others who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enwrapped in quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you notice that you have an annoying habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you - of all people, is the last to recognize.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who appears to be mattered to the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to keep off the circles whenever she's around, and she does not notices how badly she became socially disabled - bit by bit affecting the people in her surroundings.
One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to talk about. Ask questions like "do you think I am unmannered?", "Do I always sound so argumentative?", "Do I talk too loud?", "Does my breath smell?", "Do I ever bore you when were together?". In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are concerned in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don't give her answers alike "Don't exaggerate! That's just the way I am!" Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.
One of Whitney Houston's songs says "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us become better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of "If only I was richer" "if only I was thinner" and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to ascertain at the end that we've got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc.
But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It's the virtue of acceptance and contentment.
When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.
You can find much more very good and psychologically exhausting information about personal development here
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